Five (5) 'Great-Girlfriend-Material' Characteristics:-
Trait #1: You strike the balance between appreciative and independent.
The trick is to strike a happy balance. You want to allow him to indulge his masculine desire to protect, provide, and give pleasure, but without making him feel like you're taking him for granted.
Rules of thumb : appreciate, enjoy, but NEVER expect. And make sure he knows it.
Trait #2: You're happy to let him have his own life
men need to know that, should things between you ever reach that kind of level, that you'll still be OK with him having interests and friends of his own. He needs to know that he won't need to account for his every move, or apologize to you for having a late night out every so often.
The trick to maintaining a happy status quo? It's called Live and Let Live. Men will value a partner who WANTS to hang out with them, but doesn't NEED them to be around - someone who enjoys their company when they're around, and is happy to get on with her own life when they're not.
So be affectionate, by all means - just don't translate "affection" into "neediness".
Trait #3: You Keep Yourself Together - But Don't Take It Too Far
The ideal girlfriend will keep herself looking tidy and together (because SHE wants to, not because HE wants her to) but won't need an exhaustive 2-hour primping routine just to go grab brunch together.
Trait #4 You Don't Load Him Down With Your Insecurities
We all have our low moments, when all we want is to be hugged and told that everything's going to be OK. But you have to give it time. You can't overload the poor bloke with too much responsibility, too early on - you want him to feel like a boyfriend, not a babysitter!
It's hard to know where to draw the line - you want to be able to trust this person with your true feelings, but you don't want to actually drive him away. if you're interested in scoring "great girlfriend" points, you'll do things that show how confident and secure you are in yourself - not things that showcase your insecurities.
Remember, how we see ourselves sets the tone for how others see us.
Trait #5: He is not your project (and you both know it)
Instead of trying to fix him, show him how supportive you're likely to be as a long-term girlfriend. Make him feel GOOD about himself. Show him how you can be an asset to his self-esteem, social status, and life. If he shows you a project he's working on, reads you some of the novel he's writing in his spare time, or lets you take a peek at his amateur cartoon strips, be enthusiastic in your praise and support of his efforts.
And save your "suggestions" on his eating habits, wardrobe, and alcoholic excesses ... do you want to be the fun-loving companion that he loves to spend time with, or the authoritarian mother-figure who sparks irritation and resentment?
Men get enough competition from their male friends that they appreciate support from you all the more. Showing that you're the kind of lady who'll make him feel good about himself will show him that you're likely to be a supportive long-term girlfriend, too.
[taken from http://www.meetyoursweet.com/]
Trait #1: You strike the balance between appreciative and independent.The trick is to strike a happy balance. You want to allow him to indulge his masculine desire to protect, provide, and give pleasure, but without making him feel like you're taking him for granted.
Rules of thumb : appreciate, enjoy, but NEVER expect. And make sure he knows it.
Trait #2: You're happy to let him have his own lifemen need to know that, should things between you ever reach that kind of level, that you'll still be OK with him having interests and friends of his own. He needs to know that he won't need to account for his every move, or apologize to you for having a late night out every so often.
The trick to maintaining a happy status quo? It's called Live and Let Live. Men will value a partner who WANTS to hang out with them, but doesn't NEED them to be around - someone who enjoys their company when they're around, and is happy to get on with her own life when they're not.
So be affectionate, by all means - just don't translate "affection" into "neediness".
Trait #3: You Keep Yourself Together - But Don't Take It Too FarThe ideal girlfriend will keep herself looking tidy and together (because SHE wants to, not because HE wants her to) but won't need an exhaustive 2-hour primping routine just to go grab brunch together.
Trait #4 You Don't Load Him Down With Your InsecuritiesWe all have our low moments, when all we want is to be hugged and told that everything's going to be OK. But you have to give it time. You can't overload the poor bloke with too much responsibility, too early on - you want him to feel like a boyfriend, not a babysitter!
It's hard to know where to draw the line - you want to be able to trust this person with your true feelings, but you don't want to actually drive him away. if you're interested in scoring "great girlfriend" points, you'll do things that show how confident and secure you are in yourself - not things that showcase your insecurities.
Remember, how we see ourselves sets the tone for how others see us.
Trait #5: He is not your project (and you both know it)Instead of trying to fix him, show him how supportive you're likely to be as a long-term girlfriend. Make him feel GOOD about himself. Show him how you can be an asset to his self-esteem, social status, and life. If he shows you a project he's working on, reads you some of the novel he's writing in his spare time, or lets you take a peek at his amateur cartoon strips, be enthusiastic in your praise and support of his efforts.
And save your "suggestions" on his eating habits, wardrobe, and alcoholic excesses ... do you want to be the fun-loving companion that he loves to spend time with, or the authoritarian mother-figure who sparks irritation and resentment?
Men get enough competition from their male friends that they appreciate support from you all the more. Showing that you're the kind of lady who'll make him feel good about himself will show him that you're likely to be a supportive long-term girlfriend, too.
[taken from http://www.meetyoursweet.com/]
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